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Wednesday, April 08, 2009

ShuffleShame, shame as it ever was.

"ShuffleShame, pictured without scuba gear"

ShuffleShame, as far as I know and i could be wrong, is when your dad says he's got a surprise for you and he gets you all amped for this big surprise and then asks you to put on a blindfold in order to keep it a surprise and then..... wait I think i got it wrong let me start over.

ShuffleShame is when you sleeping on the couch and you like lying there sleeping and you wake up with a fright and you feel like a warm thing in your mouth and you open your eyes and it's all dark because someone put a blindfold on your face and so you take it off and then you see your dad like doing up his zip and your whole family is in your house and they are all laughing cause it's like christmas day, and then like next christmas your dad tells you it was only a vienna heated a bit in the microwave. 
I think then you do the ShuffleShame, cause you only had vienna's for christmas food and there is no turkey for food cause your dad told you they are extinct cause all the Mauritians killed them. Yeah i think thats the Shuffle of Shame........?

One second I'm just going to urban dictionary quickly......
Oh, my bad. lol.

Ok, last go. ShuffleShame is when you are playing "Belushi's Quickmix 1"
(cop it, it kills like Dolph Lundgren or wait for Quickmix 2, it kills more, like JCVD) at a braai on the beach on your iPod boombox adapter, and people are drinking and having a rad time, strangers are driving past shouting out the windows of their cars "FUCK YEAH!!! BELUSHI FUCKING KILLS", Celebrity's like De Niro are trying to worm their way into your braai/party area, and all the revelers are like "piss off taxi boy, you ain't been good since Rocky and Bullwinkle!". 

And then the Belushi Quickmix ends and everybody goes "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH",
and then either of the following bands comes on the iPod boombox adapter's speakers really loud, Bullet For My Valentine, Snow Patrol, Panic At The Disco, Zebra And Giraffe or Dirty Skirts.
Thats the fucking Shuffle Shame!

And now all attention is on you and people are livid and all WTF!?! DJ Lapse knifes you in the kidney, your girlfriend kicks you in the balls, a life guard pops your kneecap off with a sai, Magnum Hi-Fi beats you on the bottom of your feet with a rolled up phonebook, Nixon slams your skull into a rock exploding your teeth and De Niro starts peeing in your open wounds while giggling like the hyenas in the Lion King 2: Simba's Pride.

But something rushes out the ocean in full scuba gear, sprinting in fucking flippers and pushes next track to skip one of those aforementioned bands songs, and the "ShuffleShame Car Chases to Drive-Bys" mix comes on and the beach braai/party is all crystalline perfection once again, your wounds heal as if through the sheer healing power of the music, the karmic balance of mother nature is re-aligned on your beach braai/party and  De Niro says sorry.

And you have only ShuffleShame to thank, cause they were the ones in the scuba gear, and they saved the beach braai/party and your life and the environment.


Cop it kills like Schwarzenegger in Red Heat. Tracklisting here.

Also check out their blog:
 

It kills like Dudikoff in American Ninja 3.